On Human Emotion

It may seem like a breach of privacy between a couple to post something like this, but I honestly think it sheds light on a point of view that may be common to Aspies. Early on Scott gave me his permission to write anything about him from my perspective. I've received emails from people who feel helped by the posts concerning my take on Scott's outlook. Both Scott and I agree that if a post alleviates someone's pain or provides a path to understanding, it's worth the slight discomfort it may cause the two of us.

This one gives some insight into Scott's opinion on the utility of human emotion. He emailed me the following after he read the posts I've written about him on this blog:

----- Original Message -----
From: "Scott Bryan" 

To: "Allyn Bryan" 

Sent: Monday, September 07, 2009 12:01 AM

Subject: a thought after reading all your blogs about me.

> my emotional pool is as broad as an ocean, but nowhere deep enough to drown even a cat.


>>> On Sep 7, 2009, at 6:37 AM, Allyn Bryan wrote:
>>>
>>>> Good visual...is that how you really feel or is it how it feels to you after reading my perspective?
>>>
>>>> Sent from my iPhone


----- Original Message -----
>> From: "Scott Bryan" 
>> To: "Allyn Bryan"
>> Sent: Monday, September 07, 2009 7:58 AM
>> Subject: Re: a thought after reading all your blogs about me.
>>
>>> The latter.  But maybe the former too.  I don't think about emotions much because they seem so artificial. An ancient technology for providing guidance before an internal model of reality can be developed to replace them with genuine understanding. Emotions are always plan B.


>> On Sep 7, 2009, at 8:10 AM, Allyn Bryan wrote:
>>
>> When you say it like that, I can understand your perspective clearly. I think that's the best summary ever. It explains so much about how you and the world interact. When the knee-jerk reaction from 95% of skinware (people) is to use emotion and or intuition as plan A, you diligently discount its utility and replace their flawed perspective with sound logic and reality that takes into account the broadest, long-term perspective. They resist...they resist...as you continue to add building blocks to create a foundation of understanding for even the most emotionally-based human. It's a big job you have in this life...


Even if you say you don't think about emotions much, you certainly feel deeply about things....is there something else to call that feeling?

> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Scott Bryan"
> To: "Allyn Bryan"
> Sent: Monday, September 07, 2009 8:14 AM
> Subject: Re: a thought after reading all your blogs about me.
>
>> Aw shucks...I do miss you.


----- Original Message -----
From: "Allyn Bryan" 

To: "Scott Bryan" 

Sent: Monday, September 07, 2009 8:15 AM

Subject: Re: a thought after reading all your blogs about me.

>

> That's sweet, and made me laugh...


Is it just me, or did that exchange evolve into what amounts to a "romantic" email? You wouldn't expect that when his opener evokes the image of a drowning cat. (I've got more questions about that analogy. It's as though if he did get hit by something like a "deep emotion," it would definitely need to be held underwater until it expired.)

I've been on the mainland for quite a stretch now, with infrequent and/or brief visits to the island...I think he noticed. No worries, soon I'll be a full-time islander.

Thoughtful Husband

It means something a bit different when used in reference to my husband. This is an excerpt of an email Scott forwarded to me. It's in reply to a nice note from his mother about his blog.

Thanks Mom,

But I think a lot of these ideas are actually part of a perspective on life I deduced from you.  I'm not sure our philosophies are different, I just have more experience trying to express it in writing most likely because I've spent so many years doing it in bulletin boards, email, and online discussion groups.  And the only reason I really had the luxury of time to do that is because of you.

I even remember you telling me as a kid that you thought I ought not to worry about things like money because I had a sort of intuitive acumen that would do a better job of finding the right things for me to do.  It gave me the freedom to ask myself what was important, what was most worthy of the energy I could direct at it.

Ironically, even the things you worry probably harmed me or left me more depressed, may have also left me more objectively separated from the stuff we're all trying to understand.

From my perspective, each of us is just a thought passing through the mind of the single life form that occupies planet earth as it struggles unwittingly to know and empower itself.

That last sentence...pure poetry. A simple sentence that eloquently sums up Scott's "spirituality."

My reply:

That is a truly beautiful note you've written...and the one your mother wrote to you is beautiful as well...as uncomfortable as you've been on this planet, you've managed to make the best of it, while leaving a lasting impression on those brave enough (because it's not for the faint of heart) to try to know, love and understand you...like me...xo

Wally & the Beaver

Excerpt of an email I sent, in response to the use of the word "jeepers" in an email I received:

...Jeepers reminds me...that's what our mother called our private parts, as in, "don't get soap in your..." (You couldn't know that, or could you?) Then, I have a friend who always thought his private part was called a "pubicarious" because his mom said, "don't forget to wash your pubic areas," and he heard it as one word. I hope that's not too off-color. Golly gee..it's an innocent story about childhood...Needless to say, I was always confused about the 50s song "Jeepers, Creepers, Where'd You Get Those Peepers"... 

Smiling due to "Mild Formula"

After I sent that email I realized that most parents in the 1950s probably didn't have to reference anyone's jeeper or pubicarious until the kids were old enough to bathe themselves. Assigning a name to such things seems like an opportunity to set things straight, but since those were the days when Desi and Lucy slept in twin beds, I guess parents did the best they could while maintaining their childrens' naive innocence.


These days, modern advertising robs kids of their innocence as it reminds them they will someday have limp weiners, itchy vaginas, arthritis, allergies and depression. The "good news" is that there are drugs to correct all of that, but they'll give you a host of other side effects and an expensive dependency. Enjoy your childhood, kids.


All I knew was that Mom was right. Don't get soap in your jeeper, at least not harsh 1950s soap. It was painful...