Wally & the Beaver

Excerpt of an email I sent, in response to the use of the word "jeepers" in an email I received:

...Jeepers reminds me...that's what our mother called our private parts, as in, "don't get soap in your..." (You couldn't know that, or could you?) Then, I have a friend who always thought his private part was called a "pubicarious" because his mom said, "don't forget to wash your pubic areas," and he heard it as one word. I hope that's not too off-color. Golly gee..it's an innocent story about childhood...Needless to say, I was always confused about the 50s song "Jeepers, Creepers, Where'd You Get Those Peepers"... 

Smiling due to "Mild Formula"

After I sent that email I realized that most parents in the 1950s probably didn't have to reference anyone's jeeper or pubicarious until the kids were old enough to bathe themselves. Assigning a name to such things seems like an opportunity to set things straight, but since those were the days when Desi and Lucy slept in twin beds, I guess parents did the best they could while maintaining their childrens' naive innocence.


These days, modern advertising robs kids of their innocence as it reminds them they will someday have limp weiners, itchy vaginas, arthritis, allergies and depression. The "good news" is that there are drugs to correct all of that, but they'll give you a host of other side effects and an expensive dependency. Enjoy your childhood, kids.


All I knew was that Mom was right. Don't get soap in your jeeper, at least not harsh 1950s soap. It was painful...